gould’s sugarhouse • cooperlane farm • shelburne falls • ma

alice's archives, passion projects, personal, places, travel, we are family

I think Max has Grammy’s eyes.

My children are so lucky, because their great-grandparents on both sides have created rich legacies that have touched the lives of their communities & a great many strangers. On my husband’s side, his mother Lorraine’s family have produced maple syrup in western Massachusetts for the better part of 55 years. In addition to the farm, they have also run the Sugarhouse, which makes & serves the most delicious pancakes & waffles on earth. Though Grandpa Edgar passed away ten years ago, Gramma Helen is still, at the age of 90, going strong. She was still riding a snowmobile a few years ago! She & her children, Linda, Launie, Leonard, & Larry, share the passion & expertise for sugaring that produces their amazing maple syrup year after year.

Each autumn & spring, Gould’s Sugarhouse is open & does a brisk business, with locals & tourists alike lined up & waiting to get a taste of the famous breakfasts & to shop in the gift shop. Multiple generations of families have been working for & with the Goulds over these past five decades.

When I told the server that the waffles were unlike any I’d ever had, she replied with a wink, “Well, we’ve been doing them for 50 years. I think we’ve got it figured out.”

I’m not joking when I say they’re out of-this-world good. I’ve had a LOT of waffles in my time. Breakfast food is my favorite, & I think of myself as something of a connoisseur, if there is such a self-assigned job.

We arrived in time for the last weekend the Sugarhouse was open in October 2015, & we timed our meal right at the end of brunch, so we could hang out with Grammy after we ate. We pulled up just as the first snowflakes of the season began to whirl past our windshield. My children were rapt with pleasure at the magic of seeing snow for the first time ever. We wound down the last mile toward our destination, & the red barn appeared on the side of the Mohawk Trail, surrounded by trees on fire with the colours of autumn. The entire parking lot was covered in yellow & orange maple leaves. Disney could not have created a more idyllic scene.

We emerged from the warmth of the car into the brisk fall air, my husband sporting his soft, silver beard & a perfect, picture-worthy sweater (which he never has occasion to wear in Los Angeles). He lifted our littlest one onto his shoulders & made his way toward a place he’s known since childhood & is filled with memories & loved ones.

Auntie Linda met us & as always made us feel like we were at home. She showed the kids all the fun stuff–fruit, pumpkins, corn, & of course explained how the syrup is made. We explored the gift shop with all its maple delicacies (maple cream is heavenly if you’ve never had it), handmade hats, & local products. And then finally we were seated with great anticipation to eat all the pancakes & waffles & syrup we could desire.

Never have I wished more that I could eat a superhuman amount at one meal. Grampa Edgar, we miss you. Grammy Helen, we’ll see you soon!

Gould’s Sugarhouse can be found at 570 Mohawk Trail, Shelburne Falls, MA 01370. Follow them on Facebook! this year, their last day was October 29th, but mark your calendars, because they open for the spring season on March 1, 2018!

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You Can’t Fake Passion–Even When You’re Good at Something

passion projects, personal

By Alice Kuo Shippee

Inspired by my kids’ amazing elementary school, The Knowing Garden, I’m embarking on a series of passion projects. At their school, students have an hour each day to work on a project of their choice; it can be to create (make something new), innovate (improve something already existing), or educate (teach others). Their personal interests are fostered & their journey of inquiry supported by the adults in the community. The teachers help them structure their research & dig deeper with questions; parents might have something to offer in the way of experience or skills. I have always been inspired by how children so clearly know what they’re interested in; they have many questions about the world, & usually their only problem is deciding on just one on which to focus.

Last year, my husband & I worked with Tom Pitner of Zen Four, a life coach. For three months, we explored in particular our “competencies” vs. our “preferences.” Turns out, they’re not always the same thing. As a mom, I have to be competent at a lot of things; & anyone who is a parent knows that just because we can do something doesn’t always mean that we want to do it. But often, our abilities become equated with our preferences–to the people we work with, to our partners, to ourselves. In many workplaces, we will get assigned a task, we’ll do a great job on it, & then we’ll find that we get assigned that task over & over again–without any question of whether or not we want to do that task. Leadership thinks, “Hey, she was awesome at that! Let’s have her do it again next time!” That’s the smart choice for them, right? Pick the person who’s going to do the job well. And as employees, we are flattered to be picked, & we keep doing that task. In fact, because we’re no dummies, we get better at it every time; soon we’re not just doing it well, we’re hitting it out of the park! Now we’re REALLY associated with the success of that task, so the cycle continues.

But so many of us have had the experience where we start asking, “Ugh, why do they keep having me do this?” And we joke with each other, “Don’t do it too well, because then they’ll keep asking.” And resentment builds, especially when someone else who doesn’t do the task well then isn’t asked anymore & they don’t have to do it. None of us would purposefully fail at a task we know we can do well, so we just keep doing the cycle.

So, what I came to understand in my life coaching was:

COMPETENCE ≠ PREFERENCE

ABILITY ≠ PASSION.

Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it.

But we get trapped into it–sometimes by cultural norm or our upbringing. How many of us make these “should” statements to ourselves?

“If I can bring homemade cookies to the bake sale, I should. I shouldn’t do store bought.”

“If I can do my own taxes, I should. I shouldn’t hire someone to do them.”

“If I can go to the party, I should, even though I think I’m coming down with a cold.”

Really, though. Why? Why should you?

Now, we all know that we have to do shit we don’t want to do ALL THE TIME. And we adult & just do it. It’s BECAUSE we already do this that the idea of occasionally asking oneself, “Am I passionate about it?” is important.

If you are passionate about baking, then by all means, bake those artisanal Snickerdoodles. It’s baking with a passion that brings you & others joy. You gotta be honest if you’re just trying to impress someone or trying to avoid guilt because you’re impressed by someone who bakes & you wish you would care about it as much as she does.

Are you passionate about doing your own taxes? Does it make you feel empowered & financially abundant? Then do it. If not, pay H&R Block & get over it.

Are you passionate about dressing up & going to that party? Then go! If not, I’ll bet $100 that your friend would much rather you go home & take care of yourself & not spread your germs all over the appetizer table. Real, emotionally mature friends would rather that.

Our ENTIRE lives can get filled up doing the things we happen to be REALLY GOOD at & yet DON’T want to do. Since we have so many tasks that we can do, should do, & must do, let’s all try to cut at least just those things that we can do, should do, & DON’T HAVE TO DO. That will allow us to carve out just perhaps a few hours a month to do the things we LOVE, that we also CAN do.

I always love a good matrix, so here you go. Copy this on a sheet of paper & fill it in with 2-3 items in each box.

So, for me, it looks something like this:

So guess what I have spent most of my time doing…Yup. The meh stuff. And, this explains why, no wonder, I’m usually really deflated around dinner prep time…

TIME FOR A SHIFT.

I still have to feed my kids. I still have to organize my home. But can I do ever so slightly less of the things that fall into that lower right quadrant, so that maybe I can do just every slightly more of the things that I’m passionate about it? I think so. But that means asking for help!

For example, I have recently been enlisting the help of my friend Suzi of Summit Organizing to help me purge my closets & garage. While I can do it myself, I lack the enthusiasm for it. I want my house to be clutter-free & organized, & I actually am good at organizing, but I just don’t have the emotional energy to put into it. This is where a pro can make all the difference! She comes with all this positive energy & provides the moral support I need to do a task that otherwise just drains me, even though I intellectually can do it. And in having her help, I can retain my own emotional spirit to put into my passions!

So maybe for you it’s hiring a babysitter for a couple hours a week that you will DEVOTE to your passions ONLY. Maybe it’s hiring a housekeeper. Maybe it’s finally getting your kids to do some of the chores they’re perfectly capable of, but you have to let go of them doing them as perfectly as you would. And if anyone tells you you’re “lucky” to have a sitter or a housekeeper, you tell them it’s not luck, it’s a choice. You do have to pay those people, after all. And in choosing how to spend your money, you’re also choosing how to spend your time.

I think that the emotional advantages & disadvantages of our choices show up in the matrix something like this:

And when you really think about the quality of the life you want, those emoji faces pretty much say it all. There will be frustrations & challenges in every box in that matrix, but they will be met with a certain energy & will that is what you carry around with you all the time. Let that be at least something better than meh. <3

Special thanks to the women of Raise Your Vibe Tribe for helping to light my fire. More on that & them in another post!!

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gong gong • a portrait of my maternal grandfather

alice's archives, personal

I made this photo during a winter holiday visit home to Taiwan while I was in college. Both my grandfathers loved having their picture taken. They were so regal & stoic, so proud & handsome in that Chinese grandfatherly kind of way. This is my mother’s father, who I knew as Gong Gong. His Chinese name, as we knew it, was Chu Hsu, but when I started researching my family genealogy & interviewed my mom’s oldest sister, I found out that Gong Gong was actually born Zhe-Chiang Hsu in September 0f 1904. When he was 15, he wanted to become a teacher, but he was two years too young to do so according to Chinese law. So, he borrowed his cousin’s birth certificate, & was permitted to study & get a teaching certificate. And from then on, he had to continue to use his cousin’s name! I wonder what name his cousin used…

I love this photo because it captures everything about my Gong Gong that I loved so much–his perfect posture (he did Tai Chi Chuan & walked every day until he passed), his wise, scholarly expression, his cane, his jacket, & how unruffled he is by the wind blowing his beard. According to Chinese tradition, a man is not to shave for one month when his wife passes away; I think it’s meant to show that you’re grieving so much, you can’t possibly care about your appearance. My grandmother died when my Gong Gong was 77; he never shaved again, & wore his beard until he died at the age of 91.

I was so lucky to have spent much of my childhood with my grandparents. Gong Gong walked me to & from school each day. He took me to the park. I don’t remember much of what we talked about, but I do remember watching him at his desk as he wrote in his journal every day. I would stand at the doorway & wonder what he was chronicling. And I watched as he exercised, swinging his arms & hands front & back as part of his Tai Chi. And everyday, he would walk & count the number of steps he took–I think his goal was 5,000 (or was it 10,000?) a day.

When my grandfather was older, he started to lose his hearing. I would sit with him while he watched TV, & we didn’t talk much, but I always felt such a sense of calm & safety near him. I have no idea what he thought of me; I was wild as a teenager, but he never seemed to judge me. I felt really happy just reading a novel near him while he watched the news, & if I saw that he had dozed off, I would just lay my book on my chest & take a nap next to him.

And on a photographic-cultural note, I was so excited to send this photograph to him, because I had hand-printed it myself in my makeshift darkroom in my apartment bathroom. “Sloppy borders” were my new obsession, so I included one on his portrait, because I thought it made it extra artsy. When I went home to visit, I noticed that he didn’t have my picture displayed in his room as I had hoped. In fact, it wasn’t anywhere in the house. When I asked my mom about it, she finally told me that in Chinese culture, black outlines only appear on stationery that announces someone’s death. So, I had unwittingly created an unlucky portrait of my grandfather–I was so mortified! I reprinted one for him without it & put it in a burgundy frame, but I don’t know that I ever undid the faux pas.

This is a scan from my original handmade silver gelatin print. I forgot how much I miss holding a print in my hand in this day & age of digital. I love the feeling of the matte Ilford paper, & I like that I can see how the color is beginning to turn where the chemicals are showing through. This print must be about 20 years old now. It’s hard to believe that I made something that long ago that I still love like the first time I saw the image floating out of the water.

under a shady tree, you & me • zoë’s first day of kindergarten

little ones, personal

Through the perseverance & vision of a handful of parents in our community, The Knowing Garden celebrated their first day of school on Monday, September 12, 2011! Zoë had spent two blissful years at Riviera PlaySchool, & when the time came for her to go to kindergarten, I wished that she could continue her education in a similar environment of constructivist methodologies, cooperative learning, student-centered exploration, & whole child philosophies. I especially hoped for a school in which the teacher-student ratio would be favorably low. Other parents from Riviera PlaySchool hoped for the same–& they courageously embarked on a year-long journey of forming a private school driven by these ideas. We are so grateful for their hard work in bringing this school into being! And we have the opportunity as parents to be involved hands-on & to contribute our own talents & gifts. Max & I had long considered home-schooling, but the reality of our schedules with three children left us feeling a bit daunted. Now, we feel like we have the best of both worlds–a school that practices the values we embrace at home, a community of parents that share the responsibility of educating our children, & an enthusiastic, creative teacher who is clearly in love with this age group.

The first week, a location was being finalized for the school, so the class met at a local park. I was so excited to see them meeting in the shade of a glorious old tree, the sunshine glowing around them…